I haven’t gotten better. I’m not even close to okay. The only thing I’ve done is to decide to get better. But I think that may just be enough.
I’m trying to see the magic in everyday miracles now: the fact that my heart still beats, that I can lift my feet off of the earth to walk and that there is something in me worthy of love. I know that bad things still happen. And sometimes I still ask myself why I am alive; but now, when I ask, I have an answer.
My dad has made me proud, but I also wonder if he’s completely insane.
He worked three years flat out and then took a few years off to restore a castle in West Cork, Ireland. It was literally a pile of stones falling into the sea. Absolutely beautiful, but the sort of project any normal man would have walked away from. Not my dad. It’s amazing; you have to hand it to him. He absolutely knows what he wants and he does it regardless of what anyone else thinks.